Nutritionists’ every suggestion,
to me, is just out of the question.
“Eat cabbage,” “Eat sprouts,”
“If in doubt, go without:
it’s good for your heart and digestion.”
But I don’t want parsnips or peas.
I crave chips and chocolate and cheese.
And no water – just wine,
or a beer would be fine
or a jug of Long Island iced teas.
But look! Alcohol can enhance the
protection from fruit against cancer.
Don’t tell me it’s quackery;
that’s the nutritionists’ answer.
This plan, I’m supporting with ardour:
there’s gallons of rum in the larder:
a spirit-filled spence;
from this moment hence,
my pina will all be colada.