Man with shoe fetish walks free

Original article

Good gracious, ladies – have you seen what’s happened on the news?
A gentleman in London’s been purloining ladies’ shoes.
He says that it’s a fetish, not a hobby he would choose;
without his strange stiletto stash, he’d suffer from the blues.
To help his high-heeled habit, he has hatched a hateful ruse:
he shuffles up behind a girl and grabs the Jimmy Choos
from off her feet – it’s dangerous, but what’s he got to lose?
He’s swift and gentle; victims don’t get so much as a bruise,
but still, I think we’d all agree it’s likely to bemuse.
The culprit’s sorry – he had not intended to abuse
the girls, nor give them nightmares, shocks, nor even the boo-hoos.
So treat him with compassion; the poor man’s paid his dues.
Just keep your fingers crossed he finds a less destructive muse.

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