The toilet from Toto had come
and Tommy was ready to plumb.
A bathroom bonanza
shipped in from Japan’s a
magnificent treat for the bum.
This Toto loo really is swell –
it has entertainment as well.
Whilst receiving your turd,
it plays Beethoven’s Third
and releases a seasonal smell.
But, best of all, Tommy thought, this’ll
be super: a kind of a pizzle
to jet-wash your rectum
(you must disinfect ‘em)
and leave your butt clean as a whistle.
He’d put up for days – no, for weeks
with crap craps and second-rate leaks.
But no more, for he owns
this most regal of thrones!
He sat down and parted his cheeks.
Oh the comfort, distinction and class!
That first poo was a pleasure to pass,
’til instead of a squirt
he was suddenly hurt
as a flame-jet flambéed his bare arse.