Attack from aloft! With a payload of poo,
they strafe over Liverpool dock.
The feathered invaders are mounting a coup;
the pigeons are strutting amok.
Their droppings are plopping all over the town;
there are no guano-free lanes.
The dastardly doves have been letting us down;
our clean, cultured rep has been stained.
They’re pushy, they’re scruffy, they’re often obese
(just like Liverpudlians aren’t).
We need some investment to reclaim our streets,
so here’s how we’re spending our grant.
Meet Robop, the scourge of the feathery flock,
a raptoresque robot whose cry
and mechanical flaps are created to shock
and scare the squabs back to the sky.
Elite engineers can eliminate pests
with robops on bus-stops and stations.
They’re hoping the peregrine cyborgs arrest
the pigeonly peregrinations.
Let’s pray birds of prey can get rid of the quists;
let’s hope we succeed with plan A.
For Columbid massacre’s next on the list
to carry a pigeon away.