Some doggies like chewing on choc-drops,
or beefsteaks, or biscuits, or bones.
But Deefer the mastiff’s
begun to amass diff-
erent deviant tastes of his own.
While others are chowing down Chappie,
he’s lapping up lace lingerie.
He loves to gulp gusset
but doesn’t discuss it
for sometimes there’s nothing to say.
He knows he should stick to organics;
he knows it’s unhealthy and wrong
to want to ingest a
pale pink polyester
bikini or frilly-trimmed thong.
He won’t eat a jockstrap or Y-front:
it’s panties that make him rejoice.
(A bit of a pun, this,
but gentlemen’s undies
are generally boxer dogs’ choice.)
The pant-popping pup’s in a pickle
the knickers have knackered his guts,
for knicker elastic
(whilst tasting fantastic)
is not all that healthy for mutts.
So poor pooch is going cold turkey:
the laundry basket’s run dry.
He’s back biting bones as
his well-meaning owners
have cut off his knicker supply.