Dentist guilty of urinating in surgery sink
10 Apr 2007The prosecution counsel cried,
"This fiend's a filthy fink!
He cleaned his ears with dental tools
and wee-weed in the sink."
"Your Honour," begged the dentist, "Please,
don't listen to a word.
I pray you, don't pass judgement yet,
until my side's been heard.
For earwax can be useful: just
employ imagination.
You can make it into candles, it
can age a dead cetacean."
"Who cares?" the counsel snorted.
"It's irrelevant," he said.
"Your customers are humans, sir,
not whales, alive nor dead.
"I'm getting there - have patience, man,
and let me get across
the detail of its dental use
in lubricating floss.
I'm not inspired by unwaxed wire;
with wax is what I favour.
And several men find cerumen
a most unusual flavour."
"Well, that's as maybe," mused the judge,
"but what about the piss?
A witness smelled it: pray do tell
the reasoning for this?"
"Oh witness, you're insane, for urine
that was surely not.
Because I am a dental man,
I clean my teeth a lot."
"So what was seen was Listerine,
you say? Then tell me why
she saw you tucking something in
and zipping up your fly."
"My willy wasn't waggling;
it's just, for extra care,
I keep my brush and dental tools
inside my underwear."
"Disgusting!" cried the judge. "Good Sir,
you must have lost your mind.
If ever you had wisdom (teeth)
it's long since left behind."