Beijing's penis emporium

12 Apr 2007

Original article

Is your kettle of lust stuck on simmer?
Is your phallus no longer immense?
Is your flaming desire just a glimmer?
Does erection mean putting up tents?

Is your cock acting more like a chicken?
Is your boner devoid of its bone?
Is your prick in no state to be pricking?
Is it seventeen years since it's grown?

Are you potent as watered ribena?
Can you not make your wife's pussy purr?
Does she say it's so long since she's seen a
solid cock, she forgot what they were?

Then call Nancy, the Penis Purveyor:
delicious discretion assured.
She can promise, with pecker sauté, the
most iffy of stiffies restored.

There's a willy for every occasion:
enough to delight any man.
And soon, with a little persuasion
you'll be wolfing down wolf cock-au-vin.

But no genitals boost your erection
like the dual hemipenes of a snake,
and a donkey dong brightens complexion
and looks great decorating a cake.

Chewy testicle tart looks intriguing,
as does fried perineum on toast.
And there's certainly nothing too vegan
about Nancy's new narwhal nut-roast.

But the dick of the greatest distinction
is the tiger's gargantuan schlong.
It's a shame that he's facing extinction
but delightful devouring his dong.

So you needn't feel limp or a failure
for help is, at last, on the way.
Get a mouthful of fresh genitalia
at old Nancy's knob-noshing café.