Trolley book wins odd title prize

Original article

We've been enthusiasts for fourteen years,
since fourteenth April nineteen-ninety-three
when first I heard you laud, through joyful tears,
the virtues of the Walmart seven B.

You spun its wheels; I watched with fascination.
You showed me how their alloy construct gave
the pusher an entirely new sensation,
so different from a steel-built Shop 'n' Save.

From Florida to Hudson Bay we've trekked;
recall the near-orgasmic thrill we got
on flying to Virginia to inspect
that priceless nineteen-fifties Save-A-Lot.

Of course, it hasn't always been so merry;
there's sacrifices everyone must make.
Although it hit you hard, that beri-beri,
at least we saved that K-mart from the lake.

We've spotted in all seasons and all weather;
we've checked out every Eastern shopping cart.
Our wonky wheels spin perfectly together
and, I confess, you've carted off my heart.

Come roll with me across these Lazy Acres,
my Acme Angel, Target of my life,
my Tom Thumb Thumbelina: will you make a
poor trolley wally jolly? Be my wife!