Thong fetish dog eats knickers

Some doggies like chewing on choc-drops,
or beefsteaks, or biscuits, or bones.
But Deefer the mastiff's
begun to amass diff-
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Robotic birds scare 'fat' pigeons

Attack from aloft! With a payload of poo,
they strafe over Liverpool dock.
The feathered invaders are mounting a coup;
the pigeons are strutting amok.

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Fruity cocktails count as health food, study finds

Nutritionists' every suggestion,
to me, is just out of the question.
"Eat cabbage," "Eat sprouts,"
"If in doubt, go without:
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Sex theme park to open in London

When you go to the fair,
and there's penises there,
that's Amora.
When the park's seven zones
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Man with shoe fetish walks free

Good gracious, ladies - have you seen what's happened on the news?
A gentleman in London's been purloining ladies' shoes.
He says that it's a fetish, not a hobby he would choose;
without his strange stiletto stash, he'd suffer from the blues.
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